Why do marriages end? Why does love end? Think about it. Let’s take General Version of love story:
“Tom found the right girl, Nicole. Nicole was perfect. She was pretty, smart and caring. Tom fell in love. They married for 10 years and have adopted 2 children. One day tom woke up and decided he didn’t love Nicole anymore or visa versa. I am not sure what happened between these two. According to general version of love, step 2 is broken; they were not in love anymore. So off to step three, try again with other people. In walks Katie. Katie and Tom are now married with one daughter. Let’s see how far this would last.”
As a single person with a prospect of marriage one day, I want to honestly admit that divorce scares me. It's just a word isn't it? But divorce to me means “end of a family.” This scares me because to me it is the absolute manifestation of failure in life (I guess that would mean the definition of my success involves happy marriage.)
What makes a marriage fail? I was brainstorming couple of things that might lead to failure of marriage: ego, miss-communication, lack of compromise, win-loose situation, lack of compassion, selfishness, miss trust. I think I can go on forever.
What makes a marriage work? Well I have been in the privilege of watching my parents, aunts and uncles, and some of my friends successfully work on their marriage. They compromise. I see them do small little things for each other daily to show each other that they care. The wife cooks the husband’s favorite food. The husband takes care of house hold chores. I see the compassion and friendship between a husband and wife. Most of all I see balanced compromise and mutual respect for one another.
This gives me hope for myself. Marriage might not be happily ever after, but it is walking in love for the rest of your life no mater what life throws at you. Well I just have to take this journey for myself one day…
About Me
- Aparna Kancharla
- If Life is a dish, and every human being you meet is a flavor, then I am one of the flavors that make your dish more appealing and enjoyable. Ok, just kidding. I am not that self-centered.. ok maybe just border line.
2 comments:
Hmmmm..."there is nothing like work the marriage".That sounds so mechanical:-)
To me, it is a natural process where both husband and wife accept each other knowing that either of them is not perfect..plus..it seems like compromise to outer world..but a couple just keeps adjusting each other for creating a better environment.It is more of an adaptability issue.
Well, it is certainly a walk in love.I LOVED the title.
And, as you said, things may not be always rosy but the dream of seeing the rainbow keeps two loving and trusting people walking down the path together.
Good post.
Motivate-self and others...
I am touching this subject without experience. So I must say what I wrote about was just my obesrvation, which is probably why marriage seems like work to me. I totally see your point about adaptability.
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